Oils to Reduce Holiday Drama

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

November 24, 2021

Do your holiday meals feel like an invitation to bring out all the drama? Anytime we get people together, people who are different, we raise the chances of disagreements, arguments, and, well, just drama. So, here’s a shortlist of essential oils to reduce holiday drama. 

Let’s start by saying we all have work to do. We all have inner work that we should do with a therapist, coach, somatic practitioner, shaman, etc. We all have inner children that endured Trauma and trauma forming into adults. We all have healing that needs to be done. And, we are all on various points on that healing journey. When we gather at the holidays, there is no promise one’s evolved self will show up all the time, so let’s do our part to put the mood in order. 

Oils for Reducing Holiday Drama

Some of my oily friends helped me compile this shortlist of Oils to Reduce Holiday Drama. Set the mood for your day by making sure these oils (your choice) are in the diffuser a few hours before your Holiday Celebration is scheduled to begin. You want to make sure the oils have circulated the house and helped to temper any potential drama. 

Balance – grounding (A, T)

Teaches all to ground their energy and manifest their vision with the patience of a tree. It brings about positive properties of being grounded, stable, connected, committed, self-contained, with inner strength, and persevering.

Cheer (5ml or touch) – cheerfulness (A, T)

Encourages individuals who are overcome by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. It brings about favorable properties of hopeful, comforted, believing, cheerful, uplifted, joyful, determined, and restored. 

Citrus Bliss – creativity (A, T)

When the soul has lost its connection to the magic in life, this blend helps restore the spark. It brings about favorable properties of being invigorated, childlike, creative, motivated, confident expression, and spontaneous. 

Holiday Joy – centered celebration (A, T)

This oil invites people to come together and experience the warmth and comfort of positive relationships. Doing so brings warm, emotionally safe and connected, balanced, joyful, and celebratory joyous properties. 

Holiday Peace – contemplation (A, T)

Holiday Peace reminds us that there are seasons and cycles for all living things, inviting us to reflect on wisdom gained from the past by providing strength and perspective for new growth ahead. It brings favorable properties of contemplative, peaceful, meditative, calm, still, generational healing, and restored. 

Hygge – sanctuary (A, T)

Hygge reminds us that life is too fleeting to harbor hurts and deepen divisions by inviting us to let go of past grievances and begin again. It brings about favorable properties of being content, simple joys, sheltered, nurtured, soothed, blissful, connected, sharing, and forgiving. 

Neroli (touch) – shared purpose and partnership (A, T) 

This oil’s influence promotes harmony in the changing dynamics of long-term relationships. It brings about favorable properties of being patient, empathetic, kind, tolerant, fidelity, calm, intimate, sexual desire, resilient, cooperative, committed. 

Peace (5ml or touch) – reassurance (A, T)

Peace affirms that no amount of control or effort can fill the empty soul. And, it reminds individuals that only by connecting to the Divine will they cultivate lasting peace. It brings about favorable properties of being peaceful, serene, content, still, and spiritually connected.

Rose (undiluted or diluted in a touch roller) – divine love (A, T, I (only for undiluted))

Divine love heals all hearts and dresses all wounds. Rose embodies divine love and teaches individuals to contact this love through prayer, meditation, and opening the heart to receive. 

Vetiver – centering & descent (A, T, I) 

This oil challenges the need to escape pain by centering individuals in their True Self and guiding them to the root of their emotional issues. Vetiver brings about favorable properties of being centered, grounded, present, emotionally aware, and connected. 

Holidays can be so stressful. We have these celebrations in the middle of the darkest time of the year, and we do this within the social constructs of expecting to be at all things. And, this year, in the midst of (still!) a global pandemic. A few other things to consider when we encounter a situation that makes us react are (1) it takes on average 1.7 seconds between when something triggers us to when we respond and (2) it’s our thoughts about a thing that direct our feelings and our actions. 

When you feel yourself being triggered this holiday season, have your aromatherapy support in place. Pick an oil off this list and carry it with you. When you are triggered, before immediately responding, breathe in the oil, recenter yourself, and then move on. 

Here is the Holiday Conversation Guide I created last year to help us navigate the holidays and challenging conversations. You can get that, plus my joy list and time worksheets, free through Imbolc. Just use the code “Holiday Gift.” 

Let me know in the comments what oils to reduce holiday drama you chose. 

Think Feel Do Triangle

Here’s a conceptualization of how we make decisions. Something happens – an event/stimulus which triggers a thought which triggers a feeling which triggers an action and that results in our reaction to the event/our response.


  • Essential Emotions: Process, Release & Live Free. 10th ed. Essential Emotions, LLC, 2021. www.essentialemotions.com.
  • Modern Essentials: A Contemporary Guide to the Therapeutic Use of Essential Oils. 7th ed. AromaTools, 2015.
  • The Essential Life: A Simple Guide to Living the Wellness Lifestyle. 7th ed. Total Wellness Publishing, 2021.



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