Oils for Grief

Picture of drop on leaf Oils for Grief

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

March 25, 2021

Everyone experiences grief. At one point or another in life, we all experience loss. There is sadness, desperation, deep pools of loss we never knew existed. Sometimes it can feel like your entire heart has been ripped from your body – your soul – and that you will never see out of it. Grief sucks. And, it’s an important part of being human. Grief teaches us what happiness is and what joy looks like. Grief shows us what truly is important while shining a light on pain and loss. And, sometimes we need to move through those emotions, so there are oils for that. We have oils for grief.

How I See Grief

Grief is terrible and wonderful. I haven’t lost a lot of people in my life, whether a relationship ended, or someone has died, but with those that have left my world, it has shown me a few things. 

When someone you love leaves, it can feel like a gaping hole has been left in your heart. That’s what it’s felt like for me. It’s felt like I cannot breathe. Like why should life even go on? I have sometimes felt robbed that they weren’t allowed to be here more. I have felt that it’s not fair. When someone passes who has lived a long life, I might have regret for not having enough conversations with them. So, while they may have even wanted to die, I am sad that I didn’t get to know them better, to hear their stories, to honor their soul. 

I had a piece in here where I wanted to invite you to not dwell on your feelings. And, upon reflection, it felt too pejorative. So, I took that piece out. When we are grieving, kiss lessons goodbye. Don’t look for the “teacher”. Don’t look for the lesson. I would invite you to appreciate the deep, gaping sadness, as hopefully a reminder of the love you had for that individual.

Oils for Grief, a List

And, sometimes we still need to go make dinner even when our hearts have been ripped out. So, I compiled a shortlist of some essential oils that can be used to help you walk through your feelings.

Geranium – love and trust (A, T, I)
Gently supports healing the broken heart

Lime – zest for life (A, T, I, Photosensitive)
Revitalizes the heart, giving room for joy

Siberian Fir – aging and perspective (A, T, I)
Supports necessary healing and reconciliation 

AromaTouch – relaxation (A, T)
Offers comfort, use with massage

Balance – grounding (A, T)
Helps you to stay present

Breathe – breath (A, T)
Encourages you to release grief and sadness and receive genuine love and healing

Console – consolation (A, T)
Assists in releasing emotional burdens

How to Use

How do you use these oils while working through your grief? It’s simple. I’ve noted at the end of the oil line (Aromatically, Topically, Internally) how you can use the oil. 

Diffusing is usually the easiest way to get continued oils in your space for any reason, but especially when you are trying to process your grief. Just pick an oil and smell it. That is the easiest way to diffuse. Literally opening the bottle and letting the aroma waft through your nose into your head so it can do it’s thing. 

When you are experiencing strong emotions, your reactions to oils might be surprising. First, smell the oil. Did you love it? Use it. Did you hate it? Check the emotional support the oil can assist with. If the emotion addressed is something you need help with, use the oil.

When we are going through a thing, we have to do the work. Grief is a process. There are steps. Some other tools to help you work through that process include things link: journaling, talking to someone, or seeking therapy. Whatever you need to do to help get additional support, please do it. The oils can be a great comfort. Remember what we smell can affect our emotions and mood. 

Print this out and keep it for easy reference. Using oils for grief can help making that walk through the process just a little more bearable.


  • A – aromatic use. This oil is great for diffusing in a diffuser. Or you could put a drop in the palm of your hands and breathe in.
  • T – topical use. This oil is safe to use on your skin. You can always dilute oils with a carrier oil to lessen any effects and help the oil to go deeper into your skin.
  • I – internal use. This oil is safe to ingest. Consider in a veggie cap or in your water. You can even try these straight.
  • Photosensitive – many citrus oils attract the sun, so you don’t want to put these oils on you when the sun is out. You could put it under your clothes. Otherwise, may cause skin discoloration or discomfort. 


Read more on this topic…

Journey Home: Reflections from 10,000 Feet

Journey Home: Reflections from 10,000 Feet

As I sit on the plane, surrounded by the hum of the engine and the chill of the window, I can’t help but notice the person in front of me repeatedly adjusting their seat, each movement a grating assault on my laptop screen. The journey back to Portland, high above the clouds, prompts reflections on the comforts of home and the complexities of travel.

The Wheel of the Year

The Wheel of the Year

The Wheel of the Year is a cyclical and seasonal calendar. It marks the changing of seasons and incorporates festivals, or Sabbats, celebrating various aspects of nature, life, and spirituality.