A list of domestic violence resources, in memory of Cristi Curtis

Image of my family six months before Cristi was murdered

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by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

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July 21, 2020

I almost didn’t write anything today. And, then it became clear that I need to provide a list of domestic violence resources. Today is the 13^th year that my step-sister has been gone. 13 years where we haven’t heard her laugh, where we haven’t shared inappropriate jokes, 13 years where she hasn’t seen my son grow up, 13 years where she hasn’t been able to give my husband a hard time (serving as protective, not older, sister). There is a void in our family. And, time does make the hurt less, but it *never* goes away.

Immediately after she died, I was called to action. I had to do something. We spent four weeks in Michigan. I am ever thankful for the flexible job I had and the, frankly, unemployment my husband had. That gave us the time to be able to go home and spend it with family while we grieved.

And, I came home, and I needed to do something. I wanted to have a great big celebrity endorsed event in Cristi’s honor, even though this space would be 2,500 miles away. I reached out to local shelters and groups, and I had a friend who was a staffer to a city council member. I sat down with my friend, and she shared some grueling, awful facts. Domestic Violence doesn’t care what your ethnicity is, what your income is, or what your education is. Domestic Violence crosses all of these things. While the event has yet to come to fruition, I share here about twice a year resources for domestic violence. And, today, below, you will see a list of domestic violence resources.

Our family was rudely awakened to domestic violence. Both my sister and her assailant (her recently made EX-boyfriend) were college graduates with their Master’s Degrees in teaching. THEY WERE TEACHERS. The statistics around domestic violence are harrowing, and I am not going to share them here. You can search for “Cristi Curtis” (or “Domestic Violence“) on my site and see what I’ve written before.

What I am going to share is a new resource. This was sent to me TODAY by someone who works in the field of domestic violence. This person emailed me off my site, she shared how she found my site while looking for domestic violence statistics, and while searching, she shared some information she found and asked me to post it here. So, here it is, a list of domestic violence resources.

This is an “International Domestic Violence Resource Guide: Coronavirus Update”. It was published by Mystic Mag. Be sure to check out Michelle Cardillo’s article, published today, for some of those harrowing statistics. See, the thing is, with everyone at home, it’s not a vacation for many because they are stuck at home with their abusers. And, because of that, we need a list of domestic violence resources.

I will tell you I had red flags for every single boyfriend Cristi had (except one). And, I will have to go to my grave knowing I didn’t know what to say, and because of that, I said nothing. The busy-ness of life kept us at a distance. I worked. She worked. I volunteered. She coached. I got pregnant. She took on another coaching job. Conversations were hard to have, and they were always on the surface when we did have them. So, it almost felt like we hadn’t built up our sisterly rapport, even though we had been step-siblings since we were both 9-years-old (she was 3-months younger than me)! We were sisters for TWENTY years and I was too chicken shit to tell her, “Cristi, I am concerned about the way your boyfriend(s) treat(s) you.”

I can’t change the past. I don’t even know if I had said something that would have worked. Other women who have shared with me that when they were in abusive situations, they share with me that they didn’t hear it when their loved ones tried to help them out. They had to come out on their own terms. I am grateful they did and they are here to tell their stories.

And, if you are reading this, and you find yourself in a situation, I know you too have loved ones that want to hear YOUR story. Please seek help. So, here’s the list of resources.