Anonymous Real Life

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

August 19, 2011

Levi's 4th Birthday

Image by alexis22578 via Flickr

The Question

Do you blog anonymously or as “yourself”? Why?

The Answer

I blog as myself. I came across an anonymized blog a few years ago. Until then, I never considered that such a thing could (or should) exist despite all my flirtation with the online world. Suddenly, I was immersed in anonymous blogs where people spoke about what they felt, what they dreamened, what they loved, and what they feared. They did this with seemingly little thought to anyone finding out their real identify. I must admit, I was in awe. It was raw. It was honest. It was heartwarming.

So, I tried it. I opened a new wordpress blog, and I tried one post. It was awkward. I fumbled. I couldn’t do it. Someone even commented, but it was all so… false. So, I deleted it.

I have managed, now, four+ blogs. I tried to do a sustainable only blog, but felt too restricted. I wanted to talk about Levi, silly things my husband and I said to each other, school or work. So, I started a personal blog. But, then I was stymied, too. Then, I wanted to talk about green things, equity, and social responsibility. I was going back and forth between the two, neither of which was getting a good response from the outside world nor proper attention from me.

Somewhere along the way, tags developed. This tool seemed, in conjunction with classifying things with categories, to be a perfect marriage of the separate blog conundrum. I realized, with my limited attempt at an anomyous blog, that I am more interested in exploring the things that happen in my day within the context of the wider world. I hope you, reader, don’t think me a trite complainer wining about every little thing someone did wrong to me – because that is not my attempt.

I am accepting, more, that we all live emotional lives. We do things based on the feelings we have at any given moment. We express love when we feel gratitude. We express shame through various acts when we’re embarrassed or know we’ve done something wrong. So, with this One-a-Day-Challenge, I’ve also accepted this space as a way to explore those many emotions I have in any given period.

Because I don’t divulge everything, in a sense, I do anonymize my blog. Although, I try to make it clear this is me and this is my life about which I write. If I misunderstand a certain personality, for example, I won’t mention the name. If an event is too close to home, but I have difficulty understanding it, I will try and speak in vagaries. Although it’s anonymous, it’s still my real life.

I have accepted that I am an introvert. I have begun to cherish that I like to write. Now, it comes together. Now, I write, I process, I refresh through this one space where I can talk about the importance of bringing together people, places and the other things that make the world go round. I can share pictures of my growing son and the art I see daily. One blog for one me. One me with a myriad of interests that make up my real life.

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