So Tired

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

July 24, 2011

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Image by alexis22578 via Flickr

The Dream Vacation Post automatically linked, via Zemanta, to a post I created in May, Italia. In March, as we were preparing to go on our vacation, I knew that wasn’t the vacation I wanted. Several months prior to that, I tried to get a friend to do a weekend away but she was unable to because of familial obligations. What does all that mean?

That all means that I have been tired for months. Months.

Months.

Tired for months. What does that mean? It’s part thyroid. I cannot forget that. My thyroid is sick. My body is essentially sick, although managed. It’s part having too much to do, trying to slowly pare down roles I adopted when I had more time. So, it’s balance, remembering how much of an obligation a full time job is. Then, with this new thing, although almost five years old now, mothering. I have never, prior to this year, had a full time job and play the roles of mother and wife at the same time. This is all new to me, no matter how long I’ve been doing it. And, as my friend kindly reminded me one morning as she joined me for morning coffee whilst we were in our pajamas: we’re not young anymore. Sure, we’re not old (although that’s what she called us), but we’re no longer spring chickens.

When I think about the difficulties I have balancing all my wanted interests with the time, realistic time, I have every day — I have to remind myself that this is what I want. I’m slowly figuring out what I want to do when I grow up, but that realization has lead to more needs. More education, more training, more experience. More time, that I don’t necessarily have.

So, when faced with time crunches, and when the body rebels, and the family protests. What is one to do? Clearly, the universe is telling me to prioritize. Remember, a coworker reminded me, when you say “Yes” to one thing you are saying “No” to others. Perhaps, then, in the spirit of being mindful it’s about perspective changes. Instead of thinking about a new commitment, think about what we would have to give up. No matter how much more we have to do, there are only so many hours in the day and we can only do what the day allows.

Now, then, is the opportune time to put my tired feet to bed. But, first I say yes to tidying the kitchen.

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