Finding Yourself

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

June 26, 2011

Levi &  Elizabeth on Manhattan Beach

Image by alexis22578 via Flickr

First, I did write yesterday, but I didn’t make the post public.

Second, I just finished watching Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts based on the book of the same name by Elizabeth Gilbert. This woman, who I suspect is in her late thirties to mid forties, divorces and spends a year in Italy, India, and Bali to discover herself.

I’ve been writing about this topic of self-awareness for the past few weeks. I’ve been writing at my amazement in varied maturity levels between all decades of ages. I’ve been writing about my surprise when I meet someone older who hasn’t heard ea lesson I thought was pretty elementary.

This movie (book) showcases this. This woman needed to find herself. She had found her passion in writing, but she hadn’t found her. Her friends had found themselves in varying degrees, and here she is about the same age, maybe a little older or a little younger, and she still hadn’t found herself. So, she does a dramatic thing to find herself.

Finding oneself.

What does it really mean? I incorrectly assume people are always on a road of self exploration and raised self awareness, simply because I am. If you accept the premise that we are all inherently selfish because that is what we know first, then it is no wonder people think sometimes their way is often the way of others. Enter worldwide conflict. As I stated previously, many of my friends often exhibit this level of self awareness and exploration in their daily patterns, habits, readings, work, etc. So, I am surprised when I learn about someone who gets a good career, presumably something they want, live what appears to be a full life, and then does an about face stating they don’t know themselves.

I enjoyed the story. It was cute. It was brave. But, for me, it was completely surprising.

This is my 33 year old confusion. What will I say in 10 years? Where will my life be in 10 years? Will I have my dream career? Will I have continued to hone my strengths and skills and cultivated my family? Will I accept where I am gracefully or will I question everything? Will life have thrown so many curve balls that I will no longer be able to make sense of it? Is  this simply 33 year old arrogance turned into questioning?

Where do you sit on the self awareness spectrum? Have you been able to link your past experiences together to figure out why you are where you are? Do you want to make sense of it all or are you more comfortable taking every day as it comes? Help broaden my world view, please.


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  1. Lacy Cooper

    I just hate when I feel like I have hashed an area out and feeling good about that when something brings it all up again….sometimes I get frustrated and think what is the point?? The more I learn and grow the more I see there is to do…also sometimes I don’t know if I am on the right path or even if there is a path yet what I do know is I can’t just stop….what would the point of it all be? I try to not think of the future, I have goals and dreams but if I project too far out I miss the awesomeness that is today. I am kind of in a “hold pattern” right now in my life and while I have moments where I freak out not working to some huge ass goal I think that for me learning to “be” is important.

  2. Michelle

    I think this “learning to be” bit is what Gilbert was really striving for. How I interpreted it, initially though, was being comfortable with herself and her decisions. I was also interested in this unexplored juxtaposition of positions in which she was comfortable and those for which she was not. So, she was comfortable with her friends, her career. She was not comfortable with her marriage and whatever inner dilemmas she had.

    Is that what you mean?

  3. Laura

    I just finished reading Eat Pray Love, and it was a great book. Seriously, go read it. I enjoyed the movie, but the book made a lot more sense (as far as motivation). You’ll feel better after reading it.

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