Sorry

by Michelle Lasley

Michelle Lasley is a mother, wife in Pacific Northwest learning to balance green dreams with budget realities.

April 10, 2011

j

Categories: Family, Health, One a Day

Levi at the computer.

I am sorry I drove too fast.

I am sorry I took that last turn sharp.

I am sorry I brushed your hand when I was reaching for that piece of paper.

I am sorry I bumped into you.

I am sorry dinner is late.

I am sorry these treats don’t have the taste I would have desired.

I am sorry I did not anticipate your needs more effectively.

I am sorry I did not read your mind.

I am sorry.

He said, “You know you apologize an awful lot. It’s just that the militant feminists I used to work with got it ingrained in my head how women are taught to apologize for their very being.”

Yes.

I am sorry I apologize too much.

Where did it begin for me? I have always apologized profusely – in some sense, for my very being. I recall, since high school, always apologizing.

There are events that I specifically recall that would have helped shape this low self esteem, awareness, etc. As an adult, though, I have the ability, the knowledge, the power to rise above the trials from childhood. It’s interesting what we choose to hang on to in order to cope.

Here is the challenge to myself: stop apologizing.

I am proud of these flat tasting muffins, for I know that next time I should use four bananas of that size.

I am proud of my fast driving because I like to be on time and I like to pretend, within the speed limit, that I could be a NASCAR driver.

I am not sorry dinner is late. I needed that 15 extra minutes writing to process my day before I wrapped my head around a task that I both loathe and love.

I am not sorry I did not anticipate your needs fully because I did try. If my attempt was not good enough for you, that is not my problem no matter how much you try to make it.

I am not sorry that I cannot read your mind: mine is enough.

I am not sorry for being.

I am becoming more aware. I will empower my life and those around me. We will create a better, more equal, more environmentally sound, safer, freer world.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Read more on this topic…

No Move for Us

No Move for Us

Well, we didn’t move. No move for us. We will be staying in the Pacific Northwest for an unknown amount of time. It could be the rest of the school year, and we try again in the spring, or if the kid thrives at school – we could be looking at another 4 years, minimum. Either way, right now, there is no move for us.

Summer Musings

Summer Musings

In 2007, we looked at where we were and where we wanted to be, and we decided in 10 years, we’d move. My husband moved...

All the World’s a Stage

All the World’s a Stage

All the world’s a stage. This keeps coming up for me. When I read as a lecture during Catholic mass, but especially when I help put on an event. Each space has its directors, its producers, its actors who all play a pivotal role. Each space has its problems and everyone has to pivot. And, the thought has occurred to me – everyone should, yes, I daresay should, take some acting classes in their formative years so they can truly learn the ins and outs of “all the world’s a stage.”

0

Your Cart