I can’t finish reading this book (The Price of Motherhood). It’s concepts hit so close to the heart, it makes it difficult to read. I am being punished by society to have a child. What other way can we look at this? Childcare is considered unskilled work. Until recently, even basic human functions for children weren’t considered (many still aren’t) at the tax level. There is no padding or assistance when you have to take time off to do the most important job in the world.

Our saving grace when Levi was born was that Peter lost his job. Then, the State (and feds too) recognized we needed help. Now, we’re in this nebulous of a middle ground, teetering on just making it without the tax benefits to help cushion the savings account.

We need an extra chunk of change a month to pay for my school loans. No matter what we trim in the budget to even out expenses, we’d still need more to pay for that debt I accrued when I didn’t think there was another way to get what I still believe I need: a college education.

I got the job I love. But, I’m paying for it. 55% goes towards Levi’s school. 25% goes towards gas to get us out there. The rest is eaten up in taxes and what’s owed for school loans. Even though we have much more than the chunk needed to pay for the loans added to our income, it’s a hefty price.

Where’s the balance in that?

I have been quite happy working where I am. I love it. I feel fortunate that I love this paid work when one of the objectives is to stabilize my career from the short length spent at previous jobs.

But, what happens when the economy forces the job to make changes that will significantly eat into that chunk? I would be paying close to  60 or 70% for daycare, the rest would go to gas, and then, nothing left for school loans. A very hefty price for work indeed.

And, Levi loves daycare. He’s thriving. He’s learning. He’s making friends. He simply loves it. This might have to change. Not to a lower cost option, there isn’t one. I looked. It would be a no-cost option, which means no preschool.

This doesn’t feel like balance.

This doesn’t feel like choice.

I opt for prayer, for reasons stated in previous posts, hoping for comfort when life simply isn’t fair.

Related articles

• Daily Post: Uncredited Populations (michellelasley.net)

• Daily Post: Best 2010 Accomplishment (michellelasley.net)

• 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Motherhood (momblognetwork.com)

• Mommy Wars: Aren’t We All on the Same Side? (psychologytoday.com)