I asked, “How long have you been together now?”
She answered, “Mmm… About a year and half.”
I thought, but didn’t say, “Wow, that’s a long time.”
My grandparents have been together more than 60 years. My parents have been together more than 20 years. A friend and her husband (more than one couple-friends, actually) have been together more than a decade. Peter and I have been together (time before marriage included) going on six years. Yet, this friend and her beau, I categorize as being together a long time at a year and a half.
So, I’m putting dishes away, thinking about this concept. Isn’t it funny how it shifts when life changes? Maybe? When I was in my young twenties I thought 5 months with a beau was a very long time. If I could get past the 5 month mark, that meant something, to me, in a relationship. It meant I was willing to commit a little bit more and maybe the other was too.
I also wanted things to happen faster. See a movie. Talk on the phone. Hold hands. First kiss. First dance. First this, first that. Suddenly, you’ve accomplished so much in five months, what is left to accomplish?
Life for Peter and me slowed down, while still moving fast, after Levi was born. We had individual events and work and school before he was born. After he was born, it was a lot of fast repetition that didn’t allow for a lot of other things to get done. So, we were changing diapers. Feeding Levi. Changing diapers. Feeding Levi. Go for a walk. Go for a drive. Change a diaper. Feed the baby. Go to a doctor appointment. Change the diaper. Check the weight. Check the length. Feed the baby. Change the diaper. Try to sleep. Do some homework. Talk about money. Get interrupted. Change the baby. Feed the baby. Try to sleep. Get some homework done. Look for a job. change the baby, feed the baby. Suddenly, 8 months have gone by, and you don’t recall a single conversation where you’re just talking – to each other – without interruption.
Life moves slow. While it moves fast.
Maybe that’s why I thought my friend had been with her beau for so long. They mostly live adult-single lives right now. It’s a different world, that I sometimes miss. A different set of priorities. A different set of obligations. A different set of balances to adjust. And, in that difference, I think time moves differently.
So, I equate her 18 months similar to my 60+ months because time moves slowly and fast depending on the perspective with which we arrive.