Hoping for another trip across country, I began thinking about all the states I’ve visited. I found a cool mapping function that allows this easy creation. Many states were just a drive through, and we didn’t visit as long as I desire, but I’ve driven through each and every one of these states. No simple airport layovers, actually getting a small sense of the land. How many states have you visited?
The last time I eagerly uttered those words, it was the spring of 2003. I was living in Lansing, Michigan. I was in my early twenties living with other white people who were also in their early twenties.
A typical Friday night for us was sharing a meal, inexpensive wine, and stories. We were all left of the center. And, we all agreed that George W. Bush was not our president.
On the day, in March 2003, when Dubya declared war against Iraq, it was one of these wine nights. We sat around our friend’s small living room around their even smaller television. Some on the floor; some on the couch. I felt like the TV was so close it could touch our noses. The live declaration was announced, and suddenly our country was launched into war, despite lack of congressional approval.
The last declared war I had heard in my lifetime, was by Dubya’s father. I was in 7th grade. I remember calling my early teenage boyfriend, aghast, that our country would send young men to their death. I have relatives that have served, many proudly. Many who have been affected by some sort of “shell shock” or now “post-traumatic stress disorder”. Why would we willingly send loved ones to “fight for our freedoms” when they came back broken and hardly free of acquired demons? The irony was not lost on me, and the only conclusion I drew then, and now, was that there has to be another way.
I was living with a group that also felt there had to be another way, so we did the next best thing we could think of. We participated in what was called the largest ignored protest. We made signs. We marched. We chanted. We felt validated in our questions by surrounding ourselves with other like minded left of the center, socialists. I joined a group, The Greater Lansing Area Network Against the War in Iraq (GLANAWI for short). How can this be happening in my lifetime? Didn’t we learn the lessons of WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam? Apparently not.
And there was a chasm – support our president because it’s the right thing to do… Or?
Have you ever had a boss you thought was out to lunch? Maybe this boss was even chosen by a bunch of smart people. Yet, you watch them railroad meeting after meeting and shoot down idea after idea. You watch them fail to listen, repeatedly, and you see this is why they are not succeeding. You see them handle communication awkwardly, or not at all. You see how they make staff divisive, instead of loyal. And, then, you watch them lie.
I’ve had a few bosses like this. And, when my friends and I watched Dubya, that’s what it felt like. Clearly a clever man for having reached the presidency, but how could he be making so many poor choices? How could he be sending people he’s never met to their sudden death under the guise of freedom?
And, there, I was validated again – our role was to question. Our role is to never stop asking questions. If we don’t understand something, our job, with all respect, is to ask questions and never stop asking questions until we get satisfactory answers. And, even then, we can’t stop. Our job is to push them to be their best. Even when their egos are so inflated they cannot see that we are truly helping them because we do believe in a greater America. We believe that we can be our best selves and this is not it.
When I was in my early twenties, we declared our message through childish posters drawn and hung around our craftsman, duplex, bungalow. Now, I write in this forum, and I actively question and challenge when face to face. I’ve learned some things about interrupting oppressions, and I use those strategies with a guarded heart.
Join me in questioning. We deserve to live in an America that truly does embrace all, all of us with our warts, our varied colors, and our varied ways of doing this thing called life. No one person is more important than another, and we all have an important role to play. You matter. I matter. We matter, and our job is to remind them that we matter. And we will not shut up until they listen.
I wanted Hillary Clinton to be the first woman president. I admired her grace and stamina since she was the First Lady of the United States. I never really understood why she was vilified so much in the press. I never understood the severity of the scandals like Whitewater. When it came to her husband’s more solicitous affairs, I chalked that up to what most politicians do, he’s just being vilified for it.
I find it interesting, now that Hillary served as FLOTUS, to being elected two terms as a senator in New York, and then serving another five as Secretary of State, that Politifact and other sources mark her as one of the most honest politicians. A few theories explain that this idea of her being a “liar” is basically the same lie being repeated so often that it felt like truth. 
So, we have a woman, unfairly caught up in scandals, made loud by the media, and trumped up as truth because the lie is repeated over and over. It’s hard not to see that as misogyny. And, when men tell you that it’s your imagination, it’s hard not to see that as more misogyny and “mansplaining.”
I feel pain for this. I am so sad that the greatest glass ceiling I know of is still unbroken. I am confused that 53% of white women voted for the candidate who was known for misogynistic comments throughout his celebrated career. I am heartbroken that this vilification continues. I am devastated that we can’t seem to come together to find a solution that works for all of us.
So, this is when I turn to my essential oils. Right now, I want forgiveness and peace. I firmly believe that President-Elect Trump deserves a fair shot. I believe in our constitutional democracy, and that we need to trust in the process, no matter how flawed and unfair it seems. I believe that we owe him respect as our future president. I believe we owe ourselves acknowledgement that he is smart and clever for having won this tough seat. I also believe that we must stand taller, prouder, and louder in the face of oppressions and interrupt them. We can do it with peace. But, we must do it.
We must interrupt women hating comments with a loud, “Ouch! Would you say that to your mother?”
We must stand up for our neighbors when they are being bullied.
We can find courage in our secret groups, but our courage needs to be outed and loud.
We need to talk about our beliefs.
We need to ask questions to others about THEIR beliefs. If we really want to affect change, we must first seek to understand, and then be understood. I have oils for that too. Start with Lavender, the Oil of Communication. You might be surprised at its calming effects while you find words you need to say.
We need to understand that we have far more in common than things that divide us. And, we need to find conversations around those commonalities. Then, we can pick apart proposed solutions until we find one that fits.
I envision a future where clean air and clean water are no longer fought for because we all agree they are inalienable rights to every single human on this planet.
I envision a future where we have robust gardens of nourishment in every food shed, so local places can support themselves.
I envision a future where we stop digging in our sacred ground and we turn to energies that move and shine all around us.
I envision a future where we bring up leaders who love learning and who are excited about affecting positive change for their own futures.
I envision a future where our basic needs are met so well that we can all work on our dreams and goals with fewer hurdles, barriers, and upper limits getting in the way. (I have an oil for that too… start with Wild Orange, the Oil of Abundance.)
I envision that we all honor the divine in you and the divine in me. That we all recognize life is precious and must be taken seriously, with light hearted fun to pepper things along the way. We all deserve to be here. We are all Children of God. We all have purpose, and we can do this together. We can do this with love.
The husband and I were discussing this after running errands prior to picking the kiddo up from school. In 2004, I came to some conclusions. It doesn’t matter what end of the political spectrum, or grid, you are on. What matters is that most people simply care about those they love, however they define it. And, most people, want those they love and care about to succeed. In 2004, after deals were struck for oil barons, I theorized GW cared about his oil friends.
I care about my farmer friends and family. I care about my union working, manufacturing friends and family. I care about those who serve in a variety of ways. So, it was hard for me to relate to someone making deals that didn’t directly affect those I care about. Or rather, it was hard for me to relate to someone making deals where the side affects adversely affected people and things I cared about – environment, local wages, etc.
I firmly believe our common values unite us. We don’t, however, spend enough time talking about those values. Sometimes, we come to solutions before seeking to understand the other side, and those solutions are at odds. I often think that’s what we’re fighting about.
I get that there have been many stories showcasing horrific examples of misogyny, racism, homophobia. I have hope those are rare examples. Horrific. Awful to those who had to experience first hand. Yet, I hope those are rare instances. The last surge of hate before real, loving change happens.
In light of this thinking, watch Ellen’s take on “What Makes America Great.”
I love exploring sites like 27o to Win or Nate Silver’s 538. Places dedicated towards numbers, polls, and results. And, I also like to remember that things rarely stay the same.
Living on the “Left Coast”, California, Oregon, and Washington are foregone conclusions for the election. Growing up, the states around my home state of Michigan were thought of blue too. But, what do the results say? Times change. Take a look at 1904 to present.
WARNING: This is a political post. I know not all of my friends are the bleeding heart liberal as I identify. I know there are Trump supporters in my list. I know there are Johnson supporters. I know there are people who support Jill Stein and not Hillary.
I am called to cheer this election though. I am so thrilled to be casting my ballot for Hillary Clinton. I first became aware of Hillary when I was a freshman in high school. She was the wife of the saxophone playing, democratic presidential candidate, another white man in a long list of white men along side and before him. I remember thinking how different she was than Nancy Reagan, who I thought of as proper and a proponent of the DARE program that visited my school in 6th grade. But, Hillary, she was a LAWYER. Law is a profession I have long admired. And she was a woman lawyer, something that felt rare and unattainable.
Then came the scandals, and I felt horrified for this graceful woman who stood there, and watched as the scandals lit fires around. I remember her being graceful above it all.
I have since learned that Hillary has been a long time proponent of issues affecting women and children. Issues affecting women and children are central to my life then and now. And she is one that has stood tall to defend and strengthen and empower. Women, children, and healthcare. Issues she has now worked on for DECADES.
Today, I am voting. Today, I am voting in a state that does “vote by mail”, so I can get my ballot in early. It’s not electronic, it’s paper, and it will be counted by hand and aided by machine. And, today, I am proudly casting my vote for a slew of women candidates. Hillary, Chloe, and Teressa.
I was “supposed” to be at convention. I was not there. I was home. My sister-in-law was there, and I was supposed to go and be there with her. And, I did not go.
The amount of guilt and concern that I was letting people down, no matter which party I chose, made me cry for three days.
I pieced together the trip, purchasing items as funds allowed. But, the last bit didn’t come through, and I chose not to discuss the full finances with my husband. Because of that choice, he didn’t know what significant amount I had already invested in my business trip. And, I chose not to go. And there was lots of sadness around.
Finally, after a few days, the husband told me he was sad I wasn’t going. I was shocked, as this was not an expected outcome. This was a breakthrough in our communication, where we opened up on some of these desires. We discussed the true cost. And, we set aside a plan for next year, that is budgeting the money as it comes in to forecast for the future.
This was and is an emotional time, for me, for many. And, with all the sadness and guilt over the choices I made, I am ultimately choosing joy for this decision. I am choosing joy for a lot of reasons. Mostly because, though the other emotions are informative and help me take responsibility, guilt doesn’t allow me to see and express love. Guilt gives me comfort in wallowing. Guilt pigeonholes me in a place where I regret and tell the same awful story over and over.
So, I would rather choose joy. I would rather recognize where I could have made different choices, and work really hard to communicate my needs and desires. And, I will work on asking for help.
Help was offered on loan. And part of choosing into joy in deciding not to go was to choose into getting ourselves out of debt. The company is a debt free company, and my husband and I desperately want to live debt-free lives. We want to pay for any future cars and houses in cash. We want my school loans paid off. And, we want any borrowed money from family repaid in full with extra for the burden carried.
Walking into convention with more debt did not feel like a joyful decision. And, that reason plus so many more, I sat at home as my plane took off with a group of women I longed to get to know better. I cried for three days until my husband and I had a breakthrough in communication. And, I worked on breathing into joy. I worked on breathing into love.
I wrote this post five years and one month ago. A post about things on my mind that I wanted to acknowledge but didn’t want all out there, in the inter webs. Although five years have gone by, some of those same worries remain.
There is at least one difference. My mindset has shifted, and I’m beginning to acknowledge my biblical upbringing that reminded me to let worries go to a higher power. I’m not saying I actually do that, even successfully, but my awareness towards letting go is increased.
Here’s a little then and now…
Financial (school) debt
Concern over how (financial minister) counselor will help us
Familial miscarriage, sadness and hope
Anxiety over new job and daycare
Food club changes that will happen with new job
Missed birthdays, gifts, and calls
Familial impending marriages, reasons for and against with limited knowledge
Financial debt still there
The counselor helped us get on the same page, we’re still working on it
Familial struggles abound, differently, though with hope and joy
Questions still abound over logistics and cash flow with tuition and schedules
Things changed, ever still, in the food world
Still working on sending out cards, now it’s in the schedule
We all suffer and struggle, how can we be free?
In the last five years, I’ve been introduced to two ways of thinking about events. In my oil business, we talk a lot about personal growth and development. I can see clearly how a shift in thinking is needed and how it affects my growth in this (or any) business. Although I’m not always sure what to do in a minute-by-minute assessment, I am paying attention and attuning my attention to these different ways of thinking.
One new way of thinking is Byron Katie’s “The Work.” In her work, she invites us to just ask, “Is it true?” Any thought that comes to mind, “Is it true?” Through the work of inquiry, she guides, you can relieve yourself of unnecessary suffering. Suffering that we have ultimately brought on ourselves.
In this oil business, a lot of people come to the table with varied perceptions on money. The ones to overcome are usually it is negative. I’ve observed people judging what other people can spend, making decisions for other people. I’ve watched people feeling jealous over what other people have, and simultaneously criticizing other people when they spend what we feel is too much. (Back to Byron Katie and assessing whose business is it! Answer: not ours!)
One way to free our thinking, specifically over money, is to consider money as energy. Money is simply a transfer of energy. So, how are we feeling towards that energy, at its base. Marianne Williamson’s The Divine Law of Compensation is oft references to help guide one to new thinking about money. In the intro, she proclaims she is a student of, for more than 35 years, A Course in Miracles.
A Course in Miracles is the second thing that’s come my way in the last five years. The words that emirate from this text ring true to me. It’s like veils have been revealed from the Catholic/Christian teachings I was given all throughout. It feels as if things I’ve known in my heart are being stated in another way, validating questions I’ve had.
The message I want to impart today though is the reinforcement of not worrying. The reminder that the only true thing we can know is love, and nothing else is real. The reminder that when fear creeps up, it is the ego getting in the way. So, let fear go, let the ego go, do not worry. Do your work, trust in God, and be on your way. It will work out.
The calls to have faith that I never understood from 3rd grade on now (kind of) make sense to me. I’m still working on all this letting go and to have faith, but it’s as if I can feel the reasoning now. Something I couldn’t have said five years ago when all those worries crossed my mind.
My sister-in-law introduced it as another fine Yooper culinary treat. I had never heard of it. As a self-proclaimed Yooper (born, and raised until 8 when we moved to the land of trolls), I had only ever hard of and consumed pasties (not including the Polish food I grew up with). She described it as a sort of Italian sausage, half beef, half pork, with some seasonings… but different. She said you eat it on a bun, like a burger. She enticed, “There are even cudighi buns you can get at the grocery store.”
We were intrigued. We were game. We found the cudighi buns. There were two sizes. Sister-in-law asked for the thinner ones, and we obliged. At home, brother and sister-in-law prepared our meal and gave us the loose guidelines. It basically goes like this:
Cudighi in a patty with provolone (or Swiss) cheese
Sautéed green peppers and mushrooms
The cudighi was like Italian sausage, but spicier. And, the combination on a lighter ciabatta bun was fantastic. Sister-in-law gifted us two pounds, and this Labor Day, we recreated the meal with the benefit of a bit of research.
We found out that cudighi arrived about the 1920s with a wave of Italian immigrants. The speciality is found mostly in Negaunee and Ispheming. I grew up in Marquette, so that might make sense while we never heard of it. That and we didn’t go out to eat much. Here are some recipes we found.
1 (6lb) pork butt
2 tablespoons salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon allspice
½ to 1 cup of dry red wine
6 garlic cloves
1 cinnamon stick
6 lb coarsely ground pork butt
1 clove garlic chopped fine
1 tablespoon crushed red pepper
6 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons fennel seed
A few instructions said to grind it yourself, twice, so we’ll include that. More generally, just mixing up the ground meat and spices, then forming into patties or sausages is the key. Again, though, grinding the meat, and together if your using, say, venison and pork. Then, add the spices and grind again. The cudighi we had was very fine in appearance, which suggests to me a double grind. Also, the cudighi we consumed came from the Ishpeming Township fire department, and a fundraiser at that.
We read that you have the burger and eat with “the works”. So, tonight, this is what we did:
Ciabatta loaf (rolls were sold out)
Tillamook smoked provolone cheese slices
Sautéed red, yellow, orange, green peppers with yellow onion, and mushrooms
Homemade simple marinara sauce
Optional condiments included ketchup, mustard, and pickles
Cudighi was grilled on a charcoal grill. Reviews have it tasting quite yummy.
A few weeks ago, I ran out of lotion. I sort of despise going to the store to buy new personal care products. The labels confuse me. I don’t understand all the ingredients, what I need, why, what it’s good for. The longer and more chemically the name sounds, it raises more red flags than I care to admit.
So, my lotion ran out. But, I have sensitive skin that needs routine hydration. I have autoimmune issues that exacerbate that sensitive skin, so no matter how hot or cold or wet or dry it is outside, I need hydration for my skin.
What’s a girl to do? Well, not unlike my cooking, I went for whole ingredients. Herein lies the confusion, how do you make lotion? Why do you need certain ingredients.
Confession: I love to read and I love to research. But, if it’s not easily understood, then I pass. In college, I loved digesting complex ideas and trying to understand them. As my son has grown, and my family and I have settled into these roles, though, I find the more complex something is the more of a turn off it is.
So, when looking at a recipe, I found I want simple, easy to understand, just like my cooking desire of 5 ingredients or less.
Lotion added water. Body butter was straight plant fats, which meant simpler though there was a bit in the process. I opted for the body butter, because the whole thing felt simpler. Comparing some recipes, the ratio seemed to be 1 part plant oil to two parts plant butter, and for every 1 cup of body butter about 10 drops of essential oil. I decided on my amounts not unlike making soap. You figure out how much you want in an end product, and adjust accordingly. I figured 3 cups of finished product would be enough. And, I then proceeded to make about 4 cups! (Oops!)
Recipe & Technique
1 bowl filled with ice
1 bowl, smaller, to nest in iced bowl later
I crockpot for slow melting of fats
Container(s) for finished product
A stick blender for mixing
1 cup mango butter
1 cup shea butter
1 cup coconut oil (counting as a butter because of consistency)
A few shavings of coconut butter
½ cup extra virgin olive oil
½ cup jojoba oil
10 drops clary sage
10 drops geranium
10 drops lavender
I found this didn’t scent my body butter as much as I wanted. Next time, I’ll up the geranium and lavender to 15 or 20 drops each. And, next time, I’ll maybe have ⅔ cup each of the mango and shea butters and coconut oil.
Add all plant butters and oils (except essential oils) to your crockpot. Put on low, and let sit until all oils are melted. One blogger noted that letting her oils melt together for 20 minutes refined them enough that the finished product wasn’t grainy. I forgot about my crockpot for a bit, so my oils sat for nearly two hours. Note, many recipes instruct you to use a double boil method. I don’t like it. Something about the steam and hot bowls that turns me off. I found the crockpot method works best for my “fix it and forget it” world.
When the oils are sufficiently melted together, you now need to cool them. After they had been in the ice bath for about 5 minutes, I added my essential oils and I began mixing with my stick blender. I didn’t have enough ice, so while I was using my blender to mix up the oils, I noticed it wasn’t coming together as well as I liked. I refrigerated the mixture for about an hour. Some recipes skip the ice bath and say to refrigerate for 2 hours.
I compared the process to making a meringue or whipped cream. The oils cooling, the mixing to change the texture, it felt the same. So, that’s what I used as my guide to know when I was done. Once the oils were cool enough, whipping them up was quite fast. The yellow color quickly changed to the thick white you see pictured above. I made enough to fill that container plus another.
About the Essential Oils
The oil of clarity and vision, it gives courage to see the truth, see limiting beliefs, encourages openness to new ideas and perspectives. The body system affected by clary sage is largely the hormonal system, which is why it can help balance hormones and soothe monthly discomfort associated with menstrual cycles. Clary sage also soothes nervous tension and lightens mood. I chose it for this body butter because of it’s calming properties and how it is soothing to the skin.
The oil of love and trust. Need I say anymore? It seems so obvious to me that for something I am putting on my body, it should absolutely include proving love, trust, and emotional healing. Geranium can even encourage forgiveness, and it fosters human love and connection. Geranium primarily supports emotional balance and skin. With skin, it promotes clear, healthy skin. It can also helps calm nerves and lessen stress. And, as a bonus, it supports liver health! We like to say, with using essential oils there are side benefits.
Lavender is widely known for and used for its calming and relaxing qualities. But, did you know that it’s also the oil of communication? While it can soothe occasional skin irritations, helps skin recover quickly, and even ease muscle tension it can also promote emotional balance. It encourages positive emotions of open communication, being released, expressive with emotional honesty, and being heard.