Okay, well, it was more of a morning than a day, but “a day at the hospital” sounds catchier to me. So, that’s the title of this blog. My son had to get a body part corrected, something we caught during the well-check visit. My husband would not appreciate me posting even that, “Can’t you leave it as it’s a private matter?” “It’s just a body part,” I countered. So, that’s all I’m going to tell you on this forum. The kid had a body part that needed correcting, and we found it in the well-check visit. This post is more about what we use, what we take for granted, what’s improved, and what I was able to use to care for my son.

We have insurance with a local HMO, and the surgery center was fantastic. They were prompt, efficient, and we were well-tended to. There was never a moment where we were waiting to the point we asked, “What are they doing in there?” The surgery center was really set up for day surgeries, so the waiting room wasn’t very large. The furniture was updated, sturdy, with an earthy palette. The kids’ section was delineated by a brighter, yet still, earthy palette, showcasing bright orange contrasted with a creamy white. Every single couch piece of furniture had a table dividing sections with pop-out charging stations. If we still smoked, those pop-outs would have been ashtrays. I love how we’ve upgraded and kept technologies that worked. The irony was not lost.

We were quickly called in, so my admiration of the updated furniture had to wait. The first thing we had to do was slather alcohol-based hand sanitizer on our hands. My eczema sensitive hands immediately dried out from the awful alcohol and other chemicals. We were brought to a partitioned space where we engaged in all the pre-op activities. They have little-stuffed animals to adhere to co-band tape to cover the IV spot. This helps kids to be less scared when they wake up from anesthesia. They let my son take his own stuffed toy, his “lovie” as a comfort. They explained things to him in a gentle, clear way, treating him every bit as a human the entire way. Then, they began explaining the anesthesia, and they brought out the mask he was going to where.

I commented, “Oh! That’s updated from the black one I had to wear when I had surgery.” The anesthesiologist who was giving us the how-to of what would happen replied, “Oh, that was a long time ago!” I think he was maybe my age? It’s so hard to tell sometimes. I asked, “Are you calling me old?” He said no, very matter of factly. But, I laughed and am laughing, still.

Next, they brought out the oils. FDA approved “oils” to be wiped on the mask for anesthesia. I balked, and I hope I had a poker face. I did mention that I have my own oils. I told them my son is sensitive to red dyes, so let’s limit those. So, they brought out the “clear oils”, which were: orange (actually natural), apple (WHAT THE FUCK), and marshmallow (you’re kidding, right?). I allowed Levi to choose one and didn’t press the matter further that I had my own. No, I don’t have “apple” or “marshmallow”.

Soon, he was whisked away, with one hug from me, and I went off to the waiting room. The surgery pharmacy was close by, so I bought acetaminophen for $3.95. The adult version. Why? Because EVERY SINGLE KID VERSION HAS A DYE IN IT. Are you kidding me? We wonder why kids act up when we lace everything they need to have with sugar and dyes with the hope it’ll make it go down better. So, we have adult versions, and I have a chart to feed him the right dosage. This was the first time I actually wanted a pharmaceutical consult!

Later than it should have been, I was called back. Things weren’t presented as expected, so they had to do a bit more. My son was starting to wake up, and as is typical, was acting sort of funny when people come out of anesthesia. He complained of what could best be described as acheyness and severe discomfort at the site of the incision and being dizzy. So, with permission, I put my blend (of frankincense, roman chamomile, and marjoram finished with fractionated coconut oil) on his feet. I tried to tickle him, but he was too groggy. A few minutes later, he asked for lavender. So I put lavender and helichrysum on his forehead. I added the digestive blend a bit after that, and soon, he fell back to sleep for maybe another 20 minutes.

Slowly, but not really slowly, he woke up, and we were home by noon. And, we’ve ended the day with a gifted meal from a friend (homemade fajitas!!!!). A mix of western medicine and natural remedies, and now my kiddo is playing video games until it’s time for bed.

What western ironies have you noted today?