Things that won’t get a blog post, five years later

I wrote this post five years and one month ago. A post about things on my mind that I wanted to acknowledge but didn’t want all out there, in the inter webs. Although five years have gone by, some of those same worries remain.

There is at least one difference. My mindset has shifted, and I’m beginning to acknowledge my biblical upbringing that reminded me to let worries go to a higher power. I’m not saying I actually do that, even successfully, but my awareness towards letting go is increased.

Here’s a little then and now…

  1. Financial (school) debt
  2. Concern over how (financial minister) counselor will help us
  3. Familial miscarriage, sadness and hope
  4. Anxiety over new job and daycare
  5. Food club changes that will happen with new job
  6. Missed birthdays, gifts, and calls
  7. Familial impending marriages, reasons for and against with limited knowledge
  1. Financial debt still there
  2. The counselor helped us get on the same page, we’re still working on it
  3. Familial struggles abound, differently, though with hope and joy
  4. Questions still abound over logistics and cash flow with tuition and schedules
  5. Things changed, ever still, in the food world
  6. Still working on sending out cards, now it’s in the schedule
  7. We all suffer and struggle, how can we be free?
I saw this double rainbow a few months ago on my way home from an evening event. Few things describe hope better than a rainbow.
I saw this double rainbow a few months ago on my way home from an evening event. Few things describe hope better than a rainbow.

In the last five years, I’ve been introduced to two ways of thinking about events. In my oil business, we talk a lot about personal growth and development. I can see clearly how a shift in thinking is needed and how it affects my growth in this (or any) business. Although I’m not always sure what to do in a minute-by-minute assessment, I am paying attention and attuning my attention to these different ways of thinking.

One new way of thinking is Byron Katie’s “The Work.” In her work, she invites us to just ask, “Is it true?” Any thought that comes to mind, “Is it true?” Through the work of inquiry, she guides, you can relieve yourself of unnecessary suffering. Suffering that we have ultimately brought on ourselves.

In this oil business, a lot of people come to the table with varied perceptions on money. The ones to overcome are usually it is negative. I’ve observed people judging what other people can spend, making decisions for other people. I’ve watched people  feeling jealous over what other people have, and simultaneously criticizing other people when they spend what we feel is too much. (Back to Byron Katie and assessing whose business is it! Answer: not ours!)

One way to free our thinking, specifically over money, is to consider money as energy. Money is simply a transfer of energy. So, how are we feeling towards that energy, at its base. Marianne Williamson’s The Divine Law of Compensation is oft references to help guide one to new thinking about money. In the intro, she proclaims she is a student of, for more than 35 years, A Course in Miracles.

A Course in Miracles is the second thing that’s come my way in the last five years. The words that emirate from this text ring true to me. It’s like veils have been revealed from the Catholic/Christian teachings I was given all throughout. It feels as if things I’ve known in my heart are being stated in another way, validating questions I’ve had.

The message I want to impart today though is the reinforcement of not worrying. The reminder that the only true thing we can know is love, and nothing else is real. The reminder that when fear creeps up, it is the ego getting in the way. So, let fear go, let the ego go, do not worry. Do your work, trust in God, and be on your way. It will work out.

The calls to have faith that I never understood from 3rd grade on now (kind of) make sense to me. I’m still working on all this letting go and to have faith, but it’s as if I can feel the reasoning now. Something I couldn’t have said five years ago when all those worries crossed my mind.