There was a time I would get really bored with the day-to-day, yearning for something else – travel, excitement, something more. There was a time that, when single and living alone, I would visit my sister every weekend. There was a time, when single, that I had enough discretionary funds that I could take a weekend trip wherever in the lower-48 and it wouldn’t break the bank.
But time has shifted, costs have shifted, and my family structure has shifted. There is an interesting thing that seems to happen when we become parents. How our focus switches to this small thing growing before our eyes, and it’s almost as if we don’t always recognize when we let our own needs aside. Suddenly, the desire for that excitement, for me, goes away. It’s more important to make sure the now six-year-old is rested before school. $250 round trip air fare is long since passed no matter that our wages and expenses haven’t really changed (that is we can afford less now than we could 8 years ago).
It struck me last night while talking to an old friend whom I hadn’t visited with in quite a long time. She was talking about saving up for her 10 year wedding anniversary. (I can’t believe it’s almost been 10 years!) We were talking about commutes (she and her hubby have long and longer commutes). And suddenly I was talking about our daily pattern: husband wakes up, goes to work, Levi and I wake up, eat breakfast, get dressed, go to school, go to work, husband gets home from work, husband picks up kiddo, mommy comes home, eat dinner, prep for next day, repeat. And, that’s just our routine, and that’s okay. But, every time I vocalize that routine, I realize how boring it sounds. The same thing, every day. And, that’s okay. It doesn’t feel boring as we’re living it.
There are so many nuances that make each day different and strange and crazy and enjoyable. But, really, that’s it. We occasionally go to the ocean, but I loathe booking up every weekend. The visit a weekend I didn’t mind in my early twenties is long since gone.
Now, I know more about what I need to function. I understand better how this introverted personality and blossoming from a shy person affects how many people I want to interact with at one time and when I don’t enjoy it (loud bars where you can’t hear anything aren’t my favorite unless I can zone out to the band’s music). I prefer smaller, more intimate settings where I can learn about something cool from a few people at a time. And, I need that refresh time to keep all the stories straight, lest I forget. I need to be able to revisit the details, without chiding myself over a something that may or may not have mattered.
There is a part of me that misses the whimsy of my twenties. A part of me that misses the ability to throw some clothes into a bag, buy a quick plane ticket and go… But, there is a larger part of me that takes solace in the routine of everyday. A larger part of me that more or less doesn’t mind it. Perhaps it’s because i have too many obligations right now and balancing the “must get done” is hard to do with the “what I said I’d do”.
So, yes, I’ll take my boring life as we continue to learn how to raise our son. I’ll take the monotony of the weeks as we establish and re-establish our routines. And, I’ll be curious what I think of this post in a year.