Reflections

I am always intrigued when I am reflected back, to me, through someone’s eyes. Like, in yesterday’s (late night tonight) post about “No Worries” where my colleague commented on a philosophy of mine I didn’t realize I demonstrated often. But, then, conversely, when there is something like that laid back philosophy entrenched in my life … when that is shown in opposite by someone different. This happens with another, close to me, often. He often comments on the parts of my being that don’t come out very often. The parts of me that are scared or shy or fearful. The parts that I don’t show (maybe lack of opportunity?) to the rest of the world. I burned dinner one night. I don’t often burn dinner. But, something about the family’s lack of wanting to eat, to downright refusal, and coupled with the expectation to fix something different (mine? his?), on top of all those other stressors in life (was it a rough day at work? was another relationship giving me pressure?) … I couldn’t take it. I just started sobbing. I don’t even know if he noticed. There wasn’t a “no worry” thought at that moment.

Reflections are interesting. And, for me, it’s even more interesting at who holds what reflection about ourselves.

My food club people have one view of me, probably guided by the lens of “president”.

My son has a view of me with the “mother” realm.

My husband has a view of me with the “wife” role.

My co-workers have a view of me with the “Executive Assistant” role.

My fellow CAT members have a view of me as “Board Secretary”.

What I find tripely interesting about the varied roles is which hold power and what level, perceived that is. I am “President” of my buying club. What thoughts are conjured when we consider “PRESIDENT”? I am the “executive ASSISTANT” at work. What thoughts are conjured there? Assistant? Helper? Not manager? Not decision maker? Just a secretary? The One With All The Answers?

A tricky balance point has been balancing that perceived power, especially when roles overlap and the perceived power overlaps.

How we are reflected back to ourselves…

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