Sometimes, when my mind is restless, I like falling asleep to the classical music station. It is the same station I use to wake up… So, this poses a difficulty: what volume should the clock-radio be set at so that I can both hear it when waking up but won’t be annoyed by it when falling asleep? The result this morning was not loud enough, as today became a truly lazy Sunday.
Slept through the alarm would be an understatement. The alarm was set for 6:50am. The clock read 8:38am when my eyes finally opened. Levi wasn’t even up. He’s had a rough few days, for sure. ER Thursday night, scraping his knees Friday, sniffly cold Saturday, so it’s reasonable that we all sleep in. Our summer church attendance has historically been sporadic, so why should today, this glorious summer day be any different?
The problem is that I feel as if I squandored the day. We had such beautiful weather it was perfect for line drying, a walk, eating outside, anything. Not too hot, not too cold. In fact, I even wore a thin, long sleeved shirt — all day. Perfect weather. My accomplishment for the day, though, has been to tidy the kitchen counters. That’s it.
I walk through the house making note of all the things I should be doing. But, the notes pile up, which lends to a certain paralysis of desire. I don’t desire doing any of these things. I want to read a book, write, take a nap. Duty calls on some things, but on this Sunday, as in a handful before, I protest. So, the minimum is accomplished, like providing food and nurturing for the small fry.
My justification comes when I consider this religion I choose. It’s supposed to be a day or rest. What does that mean? Should I be working all Saturday and the rest of the week so I can be lazy bones on Sunday? I don’t really know. I often like Sunday to be a bake and prep for the week day, but it doesn’t always work out to be that either, for varying reasons. Today though, was simply a lazy bones day. Lack of desire with this conflicting paralysis enforced nothing. So, mostly nothing is what I did.
I am hoping that this nothing will lend itself to a refreshed feeling for the week. I am hoping this nothing will allow me to have a fresh mind come Monday. I am hoping this nothing will allow for a rejuvenated spirit to get stuff done. So, here is ten minutes dedicated to writing on these hopes. Now, I have written my daily post. And it is even more than 400 words. I shall close, and I shall go to bed to help foster that hope into refreshing reality.
(In other news, I got my labs back from yesterday’s blood work. Thyroid normal. Next test September.)