I am by no means there. But, there’s a light. And, I think I can see it. 2007 was a difficult year. 2008 I graduated. 2009 was a difficult, purpose-less year. I felt like everything I studied, everything I wanted, was just out of reach.
Then, suddenly, 2010. I have realized I am doing what I want. Albeit without pay. But, that’s why I’m meeting with a SCORE counselor tomorrow. How can I really take all that knowledge swimming around in my head, make a modest income, pay off my student loans, and still do what I love?
Let the journey begin.
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We moved a lot from when I was in kindergarten until I was in 4th grade. I hated being the “new kid” breaking into friendships that were already formed. It’s an awkwardness that made a dramatic disappearance as I progressed through my twenties. Now, when I look back then and look at now and how adults act around each other, it’s as if we still just want to be accepted and not be that new kid.
One of the books that helped the spiral move faster was Safe People by Cloud & Townsend. I’ve blogged about this book before and its boundaries, but I was in a few meetings recently and reminded of how fragile we are as adults. Have you ever been in a meeting where you are asked to explain your opinion and not by secret ballot? Not if you liked the color red over green (but sometimes that’s trying too!) but you’re opinion on a policy when the creators may have invested a lot of time into it. Do you know the sort of looking-look I’m talking about? When people sort of shirk to their left and right seeing what their neighbors are doing. The look to see, “Am I the only one who said, ‘No’?”
What happens next? What happens when you have to explain your opinion? What does the group do? Do they guffaw at your views? Are they supportive? Do they breathe a sigh of relief in understanding that they too “aren’t the only one”?
A group I’m involved in seems to be full of Safe People. People who care passionately about the organization, but are also considerate of other’s feelings and desires. That passion and caring coupled with a desire to ensure the organization does the right thing seems to create a mix of Safe People and Safe Attitudes.
I guess the biggest thing I wanted to express tonight is my surprise that adults are still fragile, that we’re all working on boundaries, and how nice it is to be involved with safe people.
I had a Facebook conversation a few months ago where I posted, in a frustrated manner, that I believe fighting over politicians is crap and that we all really have similar values anyway, so why do we participate in the distraction? A former co-worker came at the discussion from a different point of view, and I don’t think either of us were able to explain our sides, clearly. So, I thought I’d use this space to try to be clearer.
I’ve written about rights before, and as political theory is and always will be a passion of mine, rights are often on my mind. Questions like, “Who is entitled to what and why?” are questions societies often have to ask and they often take longer to answer. Rights and entitlements lend to our beliefs, and more what we value. Rights and entitlements showcase our values. And likewise, what we don’t view as a right also describes our values. If, someone, for example believes in the right to bear arms – that doesn’t necessarily mean they want the right to kill others but rather they want the right to defend themselves.
Continue reading The Radius of Rights